Near

2012-01-15T00:59:00.001+08:00

totally can't focus on doing anything today, even in tetris, just keep putting the block on diff slot. mind so distracted today.

arghhh!!!! =((((((

分。和

2012-01-13T23:43:00.001+08:00

今天和我的两个好朋友叙旧，聊天，聊了整几个小时。

我们的话题，就一直围绕在她的感情生活。最近，他们分手了。其实，也是预料之中的事。没预料到的，是没想过那么快。感情也没说快或不快，只是以为可能还有那么一点点的机会他们能适应对方，为对方而改变，渐渐融入对方的生活。今天的他们，证实了，勉强，真的不会有幸福。两个不适合的人，无论如何的改，如何的想适应，一个人的性格不可能就因为那几句话就变。谈了整天，也渐渐地觉得，分手对双方都会较好。一个以为自己只要在她身边就会很幸福，一个以为她还能继续的容忍，结果还是以分手收场。想想，可能维持以前的关系，会比现在好过些。所谓的等待，累了，久了，也只会被时间慢慢地消磨殆尽。相信，他会慢慢的检讨，以后会比现在过得更好。

回到家，看到twitter 和facebook, 又有一个朋友，分了。才短短的几个月或一年，就和两个女朋友分手了。当初为了另一个和第一个分手，现在不到两个月又和第二个分了。我还真的不知该说些什么好。

只知道，今天的我见识到，感情的脆弱。一点一点的小事，久了就会累积成分手的源头。这让我想起了我最近看的一本小说《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》九把刀的一句话『分手，只需要一个人同意，但在一起，可是需要两个人同时的认可才能作数。恋爱就是要这么不确定才有趣，不是吗？』

那，为什么当时要选择在一起呢？不了解彼此？
可分手，也是因为了解而分离。
那么矛盾，那么不可解释。
可能，感情就是那么的不能用理智去明白。其中还需要一些的模糊，任性和不确定才能理解的吧。

2012-01-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

可能，那是个错误的决定。

原来，我还没能适应，没有你的日子。

或许，这次的我，陷得比我想象中的还深。

2012-01-06T00:15:00.001+08:00

Is not that I don't try, but I just can't make myself trust others easily any more.

Even facing a friend, I can't express feeling like how I used to be before.

Hide myself? Ya, maybe.

Gonna continue to pack my stuff for the 3D2N trip, hopefully I can make myself enjoy with them.

know you are sick, take care of yourself, drink more water and rest more.

2011. 2012

2012-01-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

2011 has gone, lot of unhappy incidents happened in this year.

2012 just came, can I ask for more happiness, more laughter?

2011 has made me became a person that don't trust people easily any more, think of their intention about everything, what would happen if like this and like that, which sentence she/he says is true or fake, just keep suspecting people. Maybe, this would makes me to prevent from getting hurt again. Everyone just needs a shield to protect themselves. Lesson learnt, don't open your heart, to anyone that might have a chance to hurts you, even a close friend. Close friend can maybe leave you some day, without explanation, and become 2 stranger that won't even say hi when see each other. I'm lucky to get back a friendship, on christmas day. I know this friendship won't be like how it was before, but at least, I didn't lost a friend, that I used to treat the person so good and so close.

2012, I hope for a more happiness life, with true friends, happy family and joyful environment. Well, to become a tougher girl too.

Maybe. Some times.

2011-12-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

Some times, I would want to be the little girl that can ask for everything and get everything I want. Just for once.
Some times, I would want to get some surprise during special event like birthday, a big one. Just for once.
Some times, I would want to try to make my parents, family, and friends to proud of me. Just for once.
Some times, I would want to be the important one in some one's life. Just for once.
Some times, I would want to stay weak instead of stay strong and tell the world I'm enough, don't disturb me. Just for once.
Some times, I would want to face the sea and shout as loud as I can. Just for once.
Some times, I would want to have a shoulder to carry my tears. Just for once.
Some times, I just want to have the "once".

Wish That

2011-12-26T19:35:00.000+08:00

Some times, I will just wish that,there's someone that will catch my tears so that I don't have to hold it back.
Some times, I will wish that, there's someone will be there when Im sick.

Finals gonna starts tmr, and Im sick now. Eyes can't barely open, nose just keep torturing me.
FMLTTM, especially now.

Family

2011-12-23T00:50:00.000+08:00

Broke something again. Again means I did it N times before. I also don't know why I always drop or missed something since I was small, then got scolded every time. Thought I can be careful next time, but I still did lot of mistake and caused lot of problems until now.

I miss the old times, there's only laughter, sharing, caring in the house, arguments were smth like once in a blue moon. Now, everything changed, it's became worst. I hate arguments everyday. Ya, no one likes that. Ya, many people can say lot of good things, talk sweet or anything regard to your condition, but they won't understand the suffer feeling if they didn't experience before. Parents argue frequently, sisters brothers are immature even they are already an adult. Selfish that left in the family.

Thought I can don't cause any problems until the war ends, but accidents just happen. This accident is not a big problem, but it will makes the snowball becomes bigger. It's distracting my from studying for my final also, me already feel not motivated to study and problems everyday distracting me more and more.

I want the daddy, mommy, 2 sisters that once I love so much. That's what I called a "family".

2011-12-19T23:52:00.000+08:00

Some times, I want some time just to spend with friends, and talk talk talk play play play from morning til midnight instead of staying at home listen to those arguments. Even I didn't do anything, I still feel tired for the whole day listening to these.

Getting fed up and sick with family problems, just want to ignore it. Why human always argue argue argue quarrel quarrel quarrel, they won't get tired of these? Is smth like, you don't want to get scolded or whack bcz of the bad result in exam, then just do well next time. So, if you don't like to quarrel, just don't do smth that will cause you guys to quarrel. Is that hard??

2011-12-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

Every night, when it comes to time to stay alone, memories just flash back.

Today, walked under the rain to mahsa bus stop, made me thought of those days we played in the car when it's raining and traffic jam.

Those days....

2011-12-14T01:55:00.000+08:00

Many news saying there's meteor shower going to appear tonight.

Although in the bottom of my heart I don't really believe in it, but I still hope to see it if I'm lucky enough to see this miracle.

I don't care whether make a wish when meteor appears is true or not, I wanna make a wish.

#makingawish

Life

2011-12-14T01:49:00.001+08:00

Some times, I really don't know what's the meaning of life. Some people said, life is like this, deal with it. Some said, you define what is life.

Friends, Family, Parents, Peer. Important?
You define yourself.

Life may be unfair, Life may be useless, Life may be meaningless. but what are you living? Life.

Just try to enjoy some tiny precious moments in life, you may find that, life is bad, Yet, it can be good too.

Fluctuate define every one's life graph.
You CAN cry when you are sad, blame when you are in trouble, angry when you are not happy with anything, but don't forget to smile when you are happy.

2011-12-09T17:51:00.001+08:00

"Don't forget friends when you are in a relationship."

Saw this quote in fb. Quite true for everyone, boys and also girls.

2011-12-08T21:58:00.001+08:00

Arguments everyday, can please stop it?????!!!!

God! Buddha! or whatever! Please, I pray for peaceful in my house, pray for joyful in my house! Is suffer for staying in this situation everyday.

Can't everything back to normal? Who else can i express all these to??

2011-12-06T17:16:00.000+08:00

Went for the Singapore trip for 3 days, lot of new experiences there. My 1st time to stay overnight in a cruise, 1st time get into casino legally(in the cruise) and 1st time won money for the 1st time I played in the casino. =)

Lot of friends wished me through facebook and sms, deep in my heart, I appreciate every wishes. Thanks to those who wish me. Yet, I'm still waiting for the one that can makes me feel happy and better.

Where's the promise that you had promise before? I thought the promise won't be fulfil but at least a msg will do. days after days, I still don't know whether you are still the person I knew?

Do the "friend" has a meaning for you? Do the "promise" has a meaning for you?

2011-11-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

3 more days to my birthday. Although is fall on saturday this year, but unfortunately I will be at singapore on that day and not celebrate with my friends.

I not sure whether I will enjoy the trip or just screw it, but hope for the good ones to come on my day.

These few days I was just thinking about all those promises, promises that broke and promise again after that. Will I get the promise comes true on that day?

How I wish the days just fly quickly and my sem 2 will ends immediately. To be honest, I didn't really feel energetic everyday and doesn't have any ohm to study. Problems just come one by one since the 1st day of my 2nd sem until now. Yet, I still pray for the good one and god bless me!

2011-11-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

I lost my smile, since I started my uni life. Sem 2 is even worst, many things happened, I just lost my track.

Everyday there's sure argument, the world's changing? or I did anything wrong that I received such punishment? Nothing seems going to the right track.

Where the smile gone?

那些

2011-11-25T20:02:00.000+08:00

不知已过了多久，我已经开始慢慢的习惯不去看你的profile, 因我懂无论如何奇迹不会出现。可是，偶尔听到一些歌曲，看到一些画面，以前的点点滴滴还是会浮现在我脑海。

想忘掉，可是除了失忆，有什么是可以轻易地忘掉呢？
想逃避，可是又能逃避多少次呢？
想回去，可是有什么可以回到过去呢？

好几次，想按下那个键，可能一切会从新来过，但还是放弃了。
坚持了许久，除了放弃，还能做些什么？
可能你不会懂，你根本不明白，或不想去了解，可是我懂记忆不会如此轻易的就消失掉。

现在，就算见面，我梦就在逃避对方的眼神，根本连一声招呼都没有。比起从前的我们，那如此深厚的情谊，讲起来，可真是讽刺。

那些“日子”，如此深刻。

我，从没忘记，那些承诺。

你？

2011-11-22T21:36:00.000+08:00

everyone keep quarrel quarrel quarrel, what happened to my family? Is this family going to separate?
Parents already lost their passionate.
Sisters all so not mature, keep expecting responsibilities on my parents.

I rather to stay outside than staying at home, listening to those hated voice!
Assignments all flooding, health condition keep dropping, but I still have to hold on, what else can I do?
Those who is facing minor minor problems keep acting like the world is going to end, complaining this and that, appreciate please!

You want to wait til the day comes, only you realize, only you understand, only you start to appreciate??

2011-11-14T20:12:00.001+08:00

It's been whole week, I finally brave enough to ask you, yet, I didn't get any reply from you. I don't know what happened, a day before we still chat til late night, and the 2nd day we became stranger. Not only me, the 2 friends and also her gt unfriend by you. I was totally lost, I've no idea what's happening at that moment. Was thinking for the whole week, yet I can't get the answer, not even a single word you try to explain.

Every time anything happened, I thought lot of excuses for you, but this time I couldn't think of any. You was trying to "solve" or "settle" the problem by doing this? Honestly, I think you are not mature enough, is like some sort of running away from the problem.

I have lost a friend, a friend I used to trust a lot no matter what happens, a friend that I used to think is dependable and good enough for anyone. You, have her, yet lost few friends, that won't leave you no matter what.

Before You, who's that person who encourage him, accompany him, trust him, giving support, giving ideas, listening to him? Friends, forever for life. I would rather to lose any "him" but not my friends that used to back up me any time. Ya, he's yours now. Congratz ya!

2011-11-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

From the whole conversation, you just talked about that, and obviously I'm no the one that you will ever think of when there's something happen.
Just like what I told you, I can't help you anything, what I can do is just to give you some advice and opinion, and be your listener any time.
Ya, I did lied to you yesterday, trying to cover this lie with another lie. I don't tell you all the truth or my feelings just simply because you knew enough truth that you may can handle, all of these are enough for you. and I don't want to lost contact. Seeing you down isn't a good feeling at all, I can sense whenever you feel having problems and don't know what to do. You don't like complicated, don't like problems, so I try not to cause any problems to you to settle again.

If I can tell you these,
Just continue follow with your heart, when the day it comes, you will know what to do.
Remember, solutions are always more than problems.
Smile. =)

2011-11-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

I don't know what that's all meant, but sometimes, I would rather to think it my own way instead of listening to others saying those words I never want to hear.
Learning to be as simple as I can to you, because I know I'll never get a seconds in your world. Miracle? If it's really exist, I would believe.

2011-10-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I don't want that to be a routine or what, once a week.
Or I should be grateful at least there's routine to keep this going on?

The busy uni life, as I knew it from the beginning I won't like it, but I've no choice to chose it and to deal with it. I miss my high school life, as there's not much worries, friends around play along, joking with teachers and so on. All those memories, you won't get it back for the 2nd time in your life, and you will just miss and miss and miss it forever your life.

2011-10-23T22:05:00.000+08:00

这样的女孩、你会爱上吗？

她其实有点懒　喜欢赖床
她其实不太乖　喜欢捣蛋
她在陌生人面前会很安静很冷漠
在熟人面前却很放肆很霸道
并喜欢没形象的哈哈大笑
不要认为她很粗鲁
她只是很单纯的认为
大家打打闹闹骂骂笑笑
表示更亲切更不分你我

她独立也好强
她宁愿忍受太多的寂寞和痛苦
也不愿意向别人提起
她也会偶尔的忧郁
朋友问她怎么了
她也只会说没事

其实……
她只是感觉累了
她只是需要一个拥抱
其实骨子里
渴望有一个避风港湾
让她去依靠
但她不会承认

她必须确定
那个人是否可以承受得了这一切
承受她的撒娇　她的无理取闹
她的倔强　她的悲观
她所有的性格缺陷
且永远不离不弃

只有这样
她才放心
放心去继续做自己
不会害怕有一天将要面对失去

如果没有
那么她只好继续寂寞和孤独
她对爱情没有安全感
也不会给别人安全感
她爱不起更怕伤害

她失恋的时候
会在别人面前装的很好
大声的笑　放声的闹
当姐妹心疼的说：
“你没事吧?”
她会放下她所有的骄傲
趴到姐妹怀里哭
哭完了苦笑一声：
“没想到我还会为一个男人哭”

她从来不会在情人面前大声哭泣
除非她真的崩溃了
即使在你爱着她的时候
她也会胡思乱想让自己悲伤
如果你看到她的眼泪
请相信这绝不是她在博取同情
这是内心骄傲的女子不得己的场景

她想对你负责
同时也希望你对她负责
对自己的过去和未来负责
但请你不要轻易给她承诺和誓言
她很难相信
即使她很难相信
但她还是会选择等待

若她喜欢上你
请你不要在她的世界里消失
她没有更多的要求
不会打扰你的生活
她只是想静静的看着你
当你的观众
仅此而已

她的伤初始浓烈似酒
很快就会变为一杯水
却让水渗入生活成为点点滴滴
她选择在其中淡定
在其中沉默和内伤

她就是这样
强势　霸道　任性
不会讨人欢心
死要面子
她爱朋友多过你

她善变
最耐不住寂寞
却又喜欢假惺惺的
让自己一个人呆着

有时候她又充满阳光的气息
爱笑爱说话
活蹦乱跳　可爱迷人
她很自私
只愿意与人同甘
不愿意让别人跟她共苦

她习惯在人前表现的很坚强
一副大女子主义的模样
她会想
遇到真正懂她爱她宠她的人
她就一定会很安静
心甘情愿的安静下来
不烦不闹　按时吃饭睡觉
按时做一切
能安心和他一起做的事情

她从不轻言爱
她的爱很沉默
那并非是因为她缺少那份勇气
在她的心里有一道栅栏
那就是自尊
她看得比生命更尊贵的自尊
她会在真正爱她的人面前
卸掉所有的盔甲和伪装
做个幸福的小女人

她不要求你要做什么
不会无理取闹要你陪着她
她有自己的生活
她给你空间
因为她也需要空间

她在你面前永远性感调皮
偶尔撒撒娇
跟你玩陌生人的游戏
在你的朋友面前从来大方得体
微笑的依偎在你身边

她不让你给她买这买那
但是心里却会为你私自买给她的礼物
而暗自开心
因为女人觉得那是你的宠爱

她在意的是你的心
你若真心
她必然实意
最起码
你表现的真心
能让她感觉得到

这样的她
只有懂她的人才会得到她的好
如果你没有绝对的真心
请别爱她
因为她最怕没安全感
害怕失去平衡

Copied from facebook.

2011-10-23T21:56:00.001+08:00

I feel really really exhausted, extremely tired, physically and mentally. Sick for the whole week, recover for 2 days then sick again. Tired of all these sickness. Some accident happened and I started to worry a lot, maybe I am too sensitive but sensitive better than not care at all.

Whenever I need someone to talk with when I'm so so so extremely upset, depressed, I can't find anyone. Even I know the person will be perfunctory, or literally just "listen" but not digest it, at least there's still the person you can find. I can't find anyone when there's a problem, maybe it has before, but not now.

I hate this year, is so not my year, nothing good seems to happen on me. Even there are, but it won't last long. Keeping everything and when I just wanna express everything, I express it to myself again. Assignments all come together, presentation will be following too. Sometimes, I rather to be a sucks person that don't know how to do everything than to do many things that other people don't know.

Don't judge me just based on my action/performance ALL the time, I'm just a human that need rest and weak that will hide myself at night when no one else is beside and sometimes need just a comfort words. I will tell you I'm nothing and pretend like I'm alright but doesn't meant you can just leave me alone to face the problems. I'm not that strong that can always do many things, so don't always ask me to stay strong, I'm tiring of that.

2011-10-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

That fucking idiot asshole bastard!!!! How dare to bully my sis, you can't even bully any of my family member! I never be so ANGRY for my 18 years life, but you bully my sis, I can't bear with this! I think I never scold anyone with so angry and high pitch before, my lungs almost come out. For the very 1st time, I hug my sis tight, like scared she will get hurts. When I saw her cry out immediately after she saw the DAMN MORON, heartache. Luckily she didn't get hurts or anything, luckily that guy didn't push my sis into the house which is so easy for him. Thanks buddha, for protecting my sis from getting physical hurts.

I still laugh at my sis when she suddenly sms me and told me faster come home because she scared, I'm such a STUPID and a FAIL sister. Some more I played and have fun with my friends before I go home, how fail I am to be a sister. ='(
I will blame and never forgive myself die die die die die forever my life if anything happens. Thanks Buddha. Pray hard that nothing bad will happens next time.

2011-10-20T23:36:00.001+08:00

Just thought of papaya and bread.

That's what I want.....

Weakness

2011-10-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

You'll tell your weakness(es) to him/her, simply just because you trust him/her.

One of my weakness before, tension about driving one day before my driving test.

2011-10-16T21:43:00.002+08:00

What have I done?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down
Cause my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take
Oh, how many times will it take for me

to get it right,

to get it right

Can I start again, with my faith shaken
Cause I can’t go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair
Yeah, I’ll send out a wish,
yeah, I’ll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take
Oh, how many times will it take,
To get it right
To get it right

-Glee 2-
-Get It Right-

2011-10-16T21:37:00.000+08:00

Went to MV today, for 7 hours. at 1st wanna buy iPad 2 for my sis and end up we bought iPad2 and a Canon camera. =D
Quite happy today shop with my family whole day, without thinking any other stuff. Some more I met my NS friend there, such coincidence. =))

When I heard the song, quite... the feeling is indescribable. It's been few weeks, yet I still can't forget.

Is really that hard to let go of something, forget bout something. We are humans, not robot, not a "delete" button can clear everything. I don't know how long will it takes, but I know is not short.

2011-10-14T21:15:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T01:17:00.002+08:00

How true is this?

2011-10-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

I'm Ok for everything.

I think I should change, be selfish sometimes and say "no" for things that mostly ppl would answer with a "No".

2011-10-12T22:51:00.003+08:00

2011-10-12T22:51:00.000+08:00

2011-10-10T23:05:00.001+08:00

Feel like having a cake our of sudden. It's been so long since the last piece of cake that I had. hmmmm..

2011-10-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

It's been a week we never talk, since the last long msg.

Was headache/migraine for the whole day, can't concentrate in the class, feel so terrible when walking, the whole head was like keep spinning. After consuming 1 tablet of panadol, I felt better but still feel the pain and so uncomfortable. Thus, I don't want to take bus home and tend to follow my dad instead.

I thought of some one when I always feel helpless or lost, but just in the heart, no one knows.

2011-10-09T00:04:00.001+08:00

but,
sometimes,
you are force to give up.
Just for a reason.

"Get It Right"

2011-10-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

I love to watch Glee is simply because those songs in it are nice to hear sometimes even more than the original one. and also, the story just reflects our reality life, what we've been go through, how strong and stronger we are after many things happened.

One of my fav song, "Get It Right"

Somehow, this speaks right to my heart, about everything that happened recently.

2011-10-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

A knife pushing into the heart deeper and deeper, how's that feeling?

Smiling, laughing, joking, playing for the whole day in uni, I feel tired after I reached home, because the actual feeling is opposite on what showed on my face and my action. How long does it have to take again?

"best friend"?

A fool, me.

2011-10-04T21:12:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, maybe sacrifice myself will be the best thing i can do to save the whole condition.

Or, should I?

I feel sorry too.

Happy 18th Birthday Sasa! =DD

2011-05-11T01:10:00.003+08:00

whee~ cheong! I'm correct this time right? hahaha. that "fan tong" incident is still clearly in my mind, so I won't makes any mistake bout who is fan and who is cheong now. =P

ok! Cheong! Happy 18th Birthday!! Finally you are 18 now and you are legal to do many thing la har, don't "yai yai" ah. nah, just jk. ;) you are going to US next year, and chung chung also leaving us next year. awwh~ ='( I'll miss 2 of you la, must come back every year leh! can de la, just one time in a year is enough. Remember our "10 years" promise? you know I know you remember de! =')

Still remember last year on my birthday, you wrote a note on fb to me and you came and asked me "how to share or how to tag me in the note"! lmao!! you are funny la, wrote for me and asked me how to share or tag pulak. so now I'm going to write you a blog post in your birthday!

Cheong always do funny things that really LOL, but never mind.. That's Marissa.
Cheong always do some Noob things and she will repeat the same next time, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always can't recognize those roads even she went for N times before, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always belanja ice-cream when she are late/ffk/or even bet her mum will reach school in 5 mins, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always capture my "funny emotion" and even menace me to upload those photos to fb, but never mind, Thats's Marissa.
Cheong always beat ppl's hand when she is laughing/angry/talk til so gek dong, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always say "fuck" in front of me, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always "Deng" me when i said some "fact" of her like noob or calling her "pemandu yg bahaya", but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always gap leng zai (especially mat salleh) xD and even ask me to take photo if I meet any leng zai in NS and mms, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always discussed bout "how are we going there or there tmr" for N decades and finally we will figure out a solution which is actually sooo simple, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong ~~always~~ thought when I said "kakakakkak" was calling her "kakak"(maid), but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong ~~always~~ forget how to turn on the gas stove, but never mind, That's Marissa.
Cheong always Cheong, why? That's Marissa! ;DD

Luckily you have facebook, twitter and SKYPE! we still can even "see" each other after you fly to US.
I'm still keeping your "mickey" hair clip eh, where's your "hello kitty" padlock? you said you are going to use it when you go to US, I remember that! ;)

hmm.. we knew each other since standard 2? Actually we were not so close in standard 2, we get closed to each other when "ling lao shi" asked you to be my "xiao lao shi". but tak apa, we knew each other for 11 years already, awesome weih! =D In this 11 years, we used to "8 gua" together, went to camp together and even in the same group, hang out together, watched "Ju On 2" together, and many many many things we've had done together and there's sure many many more in the future. =DD

Plan a trip and we Must pergi before you and chung chung leave m'sia.

All The Best in your future undertaking and Take Care of yourself in US.

Happy 18th Birthday my ji mui, my "xia lao shi", my enemy, me BFF! =DDD

Whee~ I did it just now in a dumb headache condition! so appreciate it la, don't yim sam yim sei la. xD
my photoshop skill drop, will seriously learn it after my college starts. =DD

*ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka... still wondering what's that "10 years promise"? aha! actually that's nothing bout "10 years promise", is just I fabricate to fool you. =P

**there's still surprise for you, man man deng ah! you will have a memorable awesome 18th Birthday! whee~~ =D

expectations = disappointments?

2011-05-04T22:03:00.000+08:00

is the last day, and only few friends that I was able to convince to believe me. even though they are not close friends, mostly are all NS friends, but at least better than those who told me "okay, I will do it" and I trust them sincerely and with high expectation to their words. End up, that few ns friends trust me and did it. really thanks to those who trust me and showed your actions! I sincerely thanks it, no matter I get it or not, Thanks for trusting me! ;D

just now a friend discuss with me about some one's bday present and we are thinking of plan B if people sharing that is not enough for the present, then suddenly he told "I don't mind to pay more de" and "will try to get her wat she wish to get". that moment, I was thinking, how good is that if I'm the some one. but... expect what? everytime my expectations will turn become disappointment.

so, don't expect anything anymore Lee Vi-vian.

Disappointed

2011-05-03T12:19:00.000+08:00

ya, like what I tweets in twitter, yesterday was a dumb day and my mood totally down as the time is going to reach 6pm. my heartbeat is increasing and my mind keep thinking that they remember? or busy? Until the minute hand is going to reach 12a.m, only I know.... ya, they forgot and I'm the one who keep believing that they will remember, they WILL. End up, I'm too naive to believe that many of them will do it.

at first I was full of expectations and waiting, keep waiting.... but just like before, my expectations always lead to disappointment. This is my life........

now I'm thinking, Do i have friends?

Peaceful Night

2011-04-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

When every HIGH and EXCITED moments passed away, what leave is just silent and peaceful....

just like went back to those days I was keep emo-ing and listen to those soft and blueee songs. Yes, I am doing that now. with a headphone, soft songs without anyone notice that and many pictures fly over my mind.

Is time to alone with music now..

~The Rose~

2011-04-14T13:41:00.002+08:00

Join SAYS.my

Click it! Thanks ya! =DD <3

2011-03-24T13:22:00.000+08:00

which parent don't hope that their child can get good result?
which parent don't hope that they can tell their friends and relatives that their child is smart?
which child don't hope that they can get good result?
which child don't hope that they can make their parents proud of themselves?
which child will happy when they got the results that they're not satisfy?
which child will be like don't care bout anything when they got the result that is out of their expectation?

o.u.t.

o.f.

e.x.p.e.c.t.a.t.i.o.n.

2011-03-23T22:42:00.001+08:00

Is the day...
out of my expectation, don't ask how's the result, just bad.
ya, you may think that is already ok, but thats "ok" is not suitable in my family, is never be "ok" in my family.
ya, I'm worst than my sister.
ya, I'm worst than my friends.
ya, I know I'm worst,
ya, I know I'm stupid, idiot or anything that you name it.
once I got my result, I don't dare to see, and when jue see it for me, I can know from her expression, is worst. so conclusion, i got stupid result in my life. never expect it would be such rubbish result. after that my dad and my mum keep calling me but I refuse to answer it and just leave it there to vibrate until its stop.
in redbox, because of I need to inform my mom that I will reach home later, so I was force to called her. she said that I got such bad result and still got mood to sing k, dad said that result cant apply for scholarship, so why are you so "死蠢" wan, get such bad result." what can I say? I can only answer her "mm", my tears started dropping down and I don't plan to cry in front of anyone, but I failed to do so. I know maybe she was too angry or disappointed until pop out that word.
that sentence seriously broke my heart into pieces that never ever can be stick back together. for my entire life, I won't forget that sentence...
Even after I reached home, my sister called me "蠢" also, and I didn't plan to fight back her words, cuz I'm really stupid. my grandma called my mum and ask bout the result, my mum also don't know how to answer, just said that I so stupid, can't get good result and all those, but with this kind of result, still can get into college wan. at that moment, I felt guilty, feel sorry to them...
from the moment I came to this world until now, I never ever let my parents, my family and my friends to feel proud to have me as a daughter, a sister and a friend. never let them feel proud and happy, no matter how hard I tried and put in how many efforts.
If ppl said I already did my best.
If i did my best, I wouldn't get this kind of result.
If I did my best, I wouldn't let my family down.
If I did my best, I would have makes everyone feel proud of me and feel happy for me.
So, I didn't do my best.....

sorry dad, sorry mum, sorry teacher...

Family

2011-02-08T11:42:00.000+08:00

I have not much time to write so long, so just cut it short.

I'm going back today, and I'll be following my friend's car. I'm alone in the house now, and busy packing with my luggage, suddenly thought of my family and I don't feel like going back again. I never thought family would be so important to me before, I was always blaming my parents or sisters for controlling me a lot. After I went to NS, the 1st day I already started to miss my family and that is the 1st time I cried because of homesick. ='(

when they came to visit me on sunday, when they asked me whether I got like others keep crying to go home or not, I told them of course I didn't cry but actually I did for the 1st week I got into the camp. the purpose I don't want to let them know because in their thought, I always go to camp and of course I won't cry. So I didn't tell them until now.

I don't know what will happen in the one month after I go back today, but I'll take care of myself and learn to be tougher than who I am now.

Bye my family and my friends! See you all after one month and miss all of you!

Take Care! =)

Rest in Peace

2010-12-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

ya, just heard and know the news bout a guy who commit suicide this morning just because of "LOVE"!

the 1st thing came to my mind is, why do such STUPID thing??! and right after I reached home, I find the newspaper and read. OMG! just 4 months, and well, maybe he really love the girl with his whole heart. BUT! what do you think you can change or affect anything after your dead? let me tell you:
1st, you make your family sad for their whole life.
2nd, you make the girl suffer for her whole life and you are torturing her in her entire life.
3rd, you make the family of the girl feel guilty and SAD!
4th, you make the whole world think that you are crazy or "insane" perhaps?.
5th, your friends just lost a friend in their life, in just a night!
6th, you wasted your entire life to meet many many girls that are better or LOVE you as much as you love her.
7th, this is a BAD influence to others!!

So, what for to do such thing in your life? if you said your whole life is just LOVE, then I tell you, go find your LOVE but not ended your LOVE! your death won't bring back any LOVE or bring you a NEW LOVE! you just chose to ended your life and chose not to be loved or love others. You are just 22, who knows maybe you have 90 years or life? in this 68 years, you still have lot of chances to find your TRUE love. what you need is just time and be brave to face the facts! nothing is impossible as long as you have the heart to do it and keep going!

When you really feel something wrong or not comfortable, face it and solve it. Or find someone the trusted and confess to him/her, it will really makes you feel better. True friends are always there to help, not to harm.

Be POSITIVE and STAY POSITIVE!! =D

Rest In Peace, Alviss Kong...

Hurts

2010-11-08T12:22:00.000+08:00

徐佳瑩-[惧高症]

This song is about a girl who hurts by many guys and failed to maintain few previous relationship of hers. Because of that, she totally disappointed about "LOVE", and scared to fall in love again.
is a Nice and Meaningful song which can represents the feelings and many true cases of the girls nowadays.

我能！

2010-10-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

200 了，不知不觉已经过了那么久，也有半年了。呵呵，还真想不到。。

刚跟她谈起了现在的心情，不知为何，有种 ”酸“ 可又“平静” 的感觉，已不像以前那样极端了，虽然有时可能还是会有些，可至少现在好很多了。是一种好的征兆吧！ ; )

说真的，还真的想过告诉他，但到最后当然也就没有啦。这哪里可能幸运的事会发生在我身上，算了吧。她说谁知可能结果会出乎我意料呢？唉，那又谁知可能不讲会比讲了出来还好呢？

这，很难说。既然如此，我宁愿选择沉默，就让沉默陪我度过这些寂寞又寂静的夜吧。听着“舒服” 又 “忧伤” 的歌，让我想起种种的快乐时光，也让我意识到，中五生涯就快画上句点了。我相信我能为我这五年的一切一切，画上一个完美而我既又满意的 “ 。”

加油！相信自己所做的一切！ =DD

-最后的那一天~李玖哲-

why?

2010-10-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

suddenly felt that I'm quite.... such a failure..
wanna find a person to accompany me to watch movie at night, but no one is free, or no transport because of too late. although there's still have someone that can accompany me and no need to worry bout transport problem, but I don't want to troublesome them.
wanna find someone to accompany to ride bicycle or play some sports, but there is no reply after I ask or when the sky is getting dark and dark.
wanna find someone to talk online/msn/facebook, but wait for a long time then only they will reply.
wanna sms someone, but there's no reply after I waited for a whole day.
wanna find someone accompany me to library to study, but no one is free.
always gives me hope but grab it back after that.
why?

when they need me, I will definitely try to find out some ways to fulfill what they want or try to find out some solution to solve it or to help them.

then why?
my problem?

.................................................................................................................................................................

Idiot

2010-09-30T14:44:00.001+08:00

After school ended, I quickly walked out from classroom and just keep walking without waiting anyone. I just wanna be alone, so I just walk away from them as fast as I could, just to avoid they ask bout anything.
I hate people ask about my results, is annoying..

I'm so sucks in this term exam! I don't know what the H on earth that I could pass my bloody paper to teacher...

I sucks in accounts.
I sucks in economics.
I sucks in add math.
I sucks in math.
I sucks in science.
I sucks in chinese.
I sucks in b.malay.
I sucks in english.
i sucks in history.
I sucks in moral.

I sucks in every subject!!

I hate myself for doing such a stupid mistakes!!

I am such a STUPID!
such an IDIOT!

=((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

败

2010-09-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

已经几天了，可我还是很不习惯，不习惯那错了的感觉，那明明该对可我就是错了的感觉。
上次考了accounts 和 science 过后，我很自责，我不应该会是以那种紧张又混乱的情绪作答，我明明应该会的，应该记得的，偏偏就在临门一脚时，忘了。那“忘了”的词根本不应该在那时出现在我脑海，我做足了完全的准备，临考前还把所有的资料，所有的方程式都记熟熟了，可我的老毛病终究还是发作了，一紧张起来，就忘了。
说实在，不用改，不用等拿考卷我就懂这次的考试我是凶多而没吉。我很清楚这次的考试，我输了，我输的彻底。当考完了后，我心很落寞，那种以前考试从没试过强烈的落寞，可能这次我对自己的期望高了，相对的落寞之情也就高了。当他们都提起那试卷时，我很想找个洞，把头就往洞里钻下去。我无法面对，也在逃避，逃避任何一切有关那试卷的事。很想早个人来说，可又有谁会听呢？说了，也只会听到“诶呀，忘了吧/算了吧，都过了"或“oh”这个字，我永远只会听到这几句，那。又何苦呢？
当他告诉我sc的分数时，我很想呐喊，想把纸就狠狠地撕成碎片，可我就是不能，且以平静的语气结束了对话。现在的我，已可以想象到拿了成绩之后，父母那“习以为常，好像早就预料到”的眼神和语气。就算付出了，努力了，我是应该问心无愧了，可我就是达不到预期的成果，达不到父母的期望，那我算是努力了吗？连我也开始怀疑自己到底是不是没有尽我全力呢，还是我根本没有努力过?当我得不到父母的肯定，我根本就肯定不了自己。就算说我活着只为了那“肯定”，我也不会否定，因为我只有得到了他们的肯定，我才觉得至少在他们的心中，我不是一无所处。平常他们口中的“比较”，也成了我潜意识里不自觉会做的一样事情。我接受不了我比他们少的那几分，那让我觉得我很失败，我本应该做的比那更好，可我就是败了。种种的失败已让我厌倦，让我越来越怀疑自己，否定自己。表面上若无其事，可我就是不想让我软弱失败的一面还秀出来，那只会让我觉得我唯一剩下的尊严也没了。

带着哽咽的心情，终于动笔了，强忍着泪水，始终不想它滑落，始终保持那唯一剩下的一丝正面的想法，以让我好过些。

现在的我，今天的我，毁了，被我自己的想法给毁了。

下次的我，还能前进吗？

还是，一蹶不振。。。

Sick. =X

2010-09-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

Watched step up 3 (3D) with marissa, chun kit and kai xiang at mid valley today, and I highly recommend all of you to watch it, because is quite cool and nice. I can't imagine that if they are all really so pro in dancing just like how they dance in the movie. one word to describe my feeling after the movie, *WOW!* haha. although I don't know how to dance but still, is a nice movie. =)

I walked back home alone and it was raining when I was walking, so of course I was wet and ya, I should bathe once I reach home, but I'm not. I sat on the sofa and feel so relax until someone sms me and asked me to bathe, somemore the person "intimidate"(such a scary word. XD) me that I won't be taking my trial exam if i get fever and sick and bilibala, hahha. So, end up I just go and bathe.
Maybe because I really got so wet on the way walking back home, and I don't bath once I reach home. So now, I'm having flu, cough, and I can feel that my forehead is hot. Oh No! I sick. =X
So, I will sleep early today which is so not my style when I'm in a holiday! lol. xD

*158 days*

click it! =)

2010-09-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

just click this link! ---->> a great opportunity for those who likes to play archery! =)

=D

2010-08-28T23:27:00.000+08:00

I've told myself to be stronger and be tough always, but just now, I decided to indulgence myself and let myself to drop one drop of tear just to make myself feel more relieve. In the end, I felt wanna cry but the tears just stubborn and don't want to leave my eyes. For once, I beg myself to be talkative in front of my family just want to hear some noise and makes the atmosphere lively when I was emo. If for the "old time" me, I would be so emo all the time and put myself on the pillow and scream. Now, I've learnt to be more mature and quickly think of the positive ways, then put a smile on my face, tell myself "is just a small matter, there are lot of people around the world are suffering, so why should I?"
Now, I will always bear this in my mind and......
Come On! 有什么大不了,笑一笑没烦恼! =D

*Life doesn't gets easier, you just get stronger!" =D

Support you! =)

2010-08-27T13:27:00.000+08:00

no matter what's decision you makes, you are still you and I believe that you would be okay and clear about your decision.

Don't regret! =)

- smile with a sincere heart =D

I am tired

2010-08-19T21:44:00.000+08:00

Today, finally I was tired and stress until I burst out!
I was really tired in this few days which I think maybe I went home so late like around 6 something and I studied until so late at night. I really have the "fire" wanna study hard this time and get good results even this is just trials(maybe for someone is not important), but for me, I need trials marks for me to apply anything, at least just for a guarantees if there's something happens, who knows? so I've study a lots before trials starts and I just so dislike "some people" who always disturb me to study and do my revision at school, is just so annoying to listen them told me those "useless" thing while I was studying. but how? I still pretend like I'm listening to them because I don't want to makes any "troubles" again that will affect our friendship or anything just like before.
I told her before to study because trials is coming, even SPM is just few months later, but she just don't care about it and always have health problems. I learnt not to tell her that I'm tired or when I feel uncomfortable, because I know she won't helps anything and can't helps anything, she'll just show that she is uncomfortable suddenly after I felt uncomfortable, so what for I tell her or them? I can rest or just try to makes myself more concentrate and show nothing in front of them.
Today, "A" ask me to do something and I was really tired like I can almost faint down in front of you, but just because of her, I accompanied her to do that. and when I ask her to go down, she told me that she was tired and wanna rest for while, so I let her to rest and sat back to my place and continue to do my stuff. After that, while I was reading the "scholarship guidance" book, she suddenly ask me to go down, and I was like huh? you ask me to stay then I stay, ask me to go then I go? 呼之则来,挥之则去.. Fine, I was so superbbb duperbb tired and I don't want to say thing, because is useless and I know who are her, so I just accompanied her to went down and go back to class at recess time.
When I went back to class, I really can't stand anymore and just lay on the table. At that moment, I felt so helpless and so suffer, I know that I'll burst out anytime during that moment, so I quickly ask jue to accompany me to lodge and finally, I burst out. My tears non-stop dropping and I felt more tired and tired and my eyes was so pain. I can't stand it anymore and this is the 1st time I felt such tiredness and stress until I burst out. ='(

btw, if you saw this, do not have any hard feeling k? I'm just so tired, and I want you to know, no matter how tired or how busy I am, I'll still try to fulfill what you want and accompany you. So you don't always think that you are alone or always betray by friends. SMILE! =D

随你。。

2010-07-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

最近发生了很多事，这些突如其来的所有事，真的把我烦到快窒息了。说真的，那一天，我原本是好好的，可就是不懂为什么我突然会做出那样的举动和说了那一句话。在我讲那一句话时，其实我没有带什么恶意，只是带有一点开玩笑的脱口而出了那么一句使得我们现在这种关系的一句话。其实我没有怎样怪你，因为我懂你就是这样，我能理解。我明白那是你心情很不好，所以你才会把我的“开玩笑”想得那么生气，所以当你生气的说了那一句话过后，我并没有反驳你，因为我懂至少当你在骂出那一句话时，也会顺便发泄了你心里那我不懂为什么的不开心的情绪。。只是当你骂了我过后，我有一点反应不过来，因为你从未像那样的生气过，而我也无端端的给你骂了，当下我是蛮生气的。之后在班上，想了想，我开始觉得我不怎样生气了，那种感觉反而让失望和心淡给代替了。我真的累了，我不想要再去管那么多了，反正我们说什么，你也只是听了然后也没有什么变化，关心也不会带来什么感激，反而换来你的不爽和被骂....... 昨天hng 又问过我发生什么事，珏也打来问我，谈了一下，我的眼眶开始热了，眼泪也开始慢慢地流下，这是我第一次为你掉眼泪，也是我第二次为了朋友的事而掉眼泪。。我开始觉得我很多余也很愚笨，已经得过了一次的教训，为什么我还那么关心朋友。。所以现在的我，也不想再理些什么了，就随你喜欢吧，可能是我带给你那些压力，或是我使到你昨天那样。。因此现在我也不会再管你些什么，或教你怎样做，你有你自己的想法和决定，我也管不了和没心力去管了。。。

当我懂了那件事时，我的心更淡了。。既然你那么委屈，而我原来在你心里一直都是无理，野蛮，任性，不会体谅你的“朋友”，原来你一直都在忍着我，那好，现在你不用再忍了，我也不会再理会了。在和你同班的两年里，我听你诉苦，听你说你的麻烦，给你意见；而我，从来都不会跟你说我发生了什么事，因为我懂我会比你更懂得我该做什么，我会比你更能解决我的问题，我也懂跟你说了你只会拿我的事来烦，我不想增添你的麻烦，因为你一定会烦些不该烦的东西，所以何必呢。这两年来，当我在听你诉说你的事时，我自己也有些心事在烦着，可我还是听你说，给你意见，为什么？因为我不想再看到你每天去到学校都是那种心事重重的样子。。我很尽量在班上令我自己开心来世到你开心，最近你在班上的笑容也出现了很多，我一直要想些事或缩写废话是你开怀大笑，因为我要保证至少你在学校，在班上的那几个小时，是开心的。可是现在的我，看来错了，原来我一直以来在你心目中的位子，那所谓朋友的印象，是那么的不可理喻，那么的不会体谅你。。

今天，当所有人，或者可以说大部分的人都把矛头指向你时，我开始觉得，是我错了吗？是我造成你现在这样的吗？我开始觉得你很委屈，开始担心你会怎样想，开始觉得你会很受伤，因为你根本承受不了全部人的责骂或说你是那个错的人，我开始觉得我现在带给你的，是不安，是委屈，是伤害。。有那么的一刻，我希望我是那个被人责怪，被人说我是错的人，然后全部人都会站在你的立场，可能你会觉得好很多，就算现在，我还是这样想。。放学时，我很心痛，我开始担心起你，你现在一定很不好受，因为多数人都站在我的立场。。可是我还是不想理了，你想要怎样，想要做什么，不想挽回还是一直都对我存有不满，就随你。。
我很累了，我心淡了，死了。。。

=D

2010-06-25T21:48:00.002+08:00

wow~~ my blog!! hi, long time no see!! haha.. suddenly feel like wanna write something here, so I just write "something" la.. =P
hmmm... in this few months, many things happened, sad, happy,cry, everything...
I am learning not to care so much like before, and learning to put down a huge heavy rock again.. this time, I promise myself and everyone I WILL!! not matter how long it needs, I WILL!! I won't let myself be the "me" in the past, I've learnt to think more and think carefully what should I do and how should I do it as perfect as I can. I think, I can do it better than the past few years, FOR SURE!! I have alot of friends that always stay beside me, always scold me, console me, taught me, and listen to me, so what can I request again?
this year, my results is much better than before, cocuricculum I think is still okay, so I am still me and I will improve and improve, to be a better person and a "won't-think-too-much" girl!! =D

*next post-after agm"

"ah-li-lu-ya"

2010-03-12T19:16:00.007+08:00

wow! I can felt the god just beside me and sang "ah-li-lu-ya" just right after today's exam!! no matter how is my account results but I still felt so relieve after the exam is over... this week exam really make me felt hard to breath, one week is like a year has just over already... @.@
but I still can't has a fully rest today, because need to.............. ONLINE!! and I'll only pack my bag in the midnight as usual. =P
tmr camp at Bukit Lagong, our "long-time-no-visit" place. haha.. XD This camp until monday noon, so that means I can only rest after monday... on nooooo!!! I wanna go out!! leave the house!!

planning to hand out with friends on next week, I can't just stay at home and doing nothing or just face the wall, tv, comp or bed.... I'll die!! haha...

"ah-li-lu-ya".... ^.^

big mistake!

2010-03-05T19:25:00.006+08:00

finally today's exam has passed and history paper just made me feel relax than last few years ^.^.. but there is one thing that made me feel sooo extremely dissapointed is my chinese paper, no doubt that this paper i quite hard but I should know how to do it!! yea, I SHOULD!! that means I didn't did well in this paper.. too cencentrate on sejarah and forgot bout my chinese, so damn regret now. ishhh!!! I just can't forgive myself for doing a big mistake!! praying so hard now for my chinese paper to get nice marks in this exam. please teacher, please!

I can't repeat the same mistake again next time, stop it! still have 4 more days to go, need to put in more concentration and more efforts start from now..I will go to jue's house when there is some tough subjects on the next day of exam, because I can be more concentrate at her house just like yesterday study sejarah at her house.

off to relax myself now and today. ^.^

I'm just so boring now...

2010-02-27T17:26:00.003+08:00

omg!!!!! someone pls save me!!
I'm soo bored until can die already.... stay at home wihtout doing anything, or should say, no motivation to do anything...
wanna study but don't have any any any study mood for now... >.<

2010-02-19T00:21:00.001+08:00

my sis just brought "The Sims 3".. hahaha..

2010-02-07T20:49:00.004+08:00

yea.. i just feel depressed.. don't ask why, I won't tell you the truth.. this is the 1st time I cried out like that yesterday, because of that... that isn't makes me feel release but made me feel more stress..

feel like wanna drink alot of beer of wine just to make myself drunk......

migraine+panadol= rest

2010-02-02T21:20:00.004+08:00

I feel much much better now..
migraine in this morning, then I took panadol to "cure" it.. but it still don't seems any better, so I slept in the class while teacher is teaching but she they just don't realise that I was sleeping, so just forget bout it..
after that, still don't feel any better, then I took one more tablet of panadol again and slept again.. sudah lama didn't eat panadol already but today really can't stand it, so.. don't told me that pandadol not good or why you eat so much of panadol again, I just took 2 tablets, okay???
while waiting for alicia after school, I rest in Guides Lodge for.. hmm.. one hour I think... when I woke up, I felt much better already then went back home after that... rest almost whole day today, now quite relax.. =)
tomorrow oral presentation, but today only we got our script.. ishh... those stupid boys.. today gonna memorize everything.. hope headache won't come and find me again.. =.=

tomorrow gonna run the real track of merentas desa.. haha.... so semangat to green house now!! wow!! ^.^

sigh..

2010-01-05T19:58:00.003+08:00

finally the most scary thing today had already pass, but still need wait for the results..
so.....
is drop?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
or remain?

just 听天由命.....

2009-12-28T21:23:00.001+08:00

I will update my thailand trip post soon.. quite busy and lazy now ma.. >.< haha..

6K Gathering

2009-12-28T20:55:00.005+08:00

haha.. today went to sunway pyramid for our 6K Gathering!!! wooohooo!!! that was awesome!! this time got 17 ppl attend this gathering and FINALLY I met cheryl soh!! haha.. got some "over syok" already..

Btw, this morning I tumpang marissa's car to sunway then we first find out where's the place we suppose to meet. and ya, got me beside marissa, everything will be okay!! lolz.. you know what I meant right, sa? and of course, we reach there before 11.30 which is our actual meeting time, so no one else was there that time. thenI accompany marissa to search for her "can put inside the car, and good for sleeping" prezzie to someone else.. *nyeh nyeh nyeh* around 11.30, alicia and wei liang reached there and we wait for everyone to arrive (for a long long time).. then suddenly the miss lai said that he don't want to have our lunch at "Hartz Chicken Buffet", so we changed our plan to Kim Gary and the "don't know whose food" scene showed again.. XD we took pics at there and we headed to Red Box karaoke.. actually before that, we "hang" in front of the parkson for don't know how many centuries.. XD then we "hang" at red box there again for 10 more mins.. this is so called "hang out". haha..

At first everyone were like so "don't want to sing" look and just watching other ppl to sing.. BUT after few hours, you will see that many ppl started to take or "rampas" the mic. haha.. some of them played PS 2 while the others were singing.. and me, shout and sang until now no voice already.. lolz.. around 6 something, many ppl wanna go back home already, and we keep taking photos with everyone and sing until lagi high!! haha.. then alicia told me that her dad is coming to fetch us, so we leave at 6.50pm..
haha.. this time gathering was awesome and everyone really did enjoy themselves..

WOOHOO!!! 6K 2005 is the best!! We SURE will having gathering every year right??!! don't forget our "18 years old" promise.. haha..

nights..

2009-12-09T02:08:00.003+08:00

headache again at this time 2:09 a.m.. I know need to sleep now but I just hard to sleep which I don't know why or maybe...

btw, just a short short post in this silent and peaceful night..

I'll off now and try to get into my dream until the 2nd day.. ^.^

ciao everyone..

black eyed peas-alive

my birthday..

2009-12-03T21:55:00.006+08:00

just a short post...

yesterday me and marissa sleepover atjue and zhen's house, to help them do all those PL course stuff and for fun of course.. ^.^ we watched a korean ghost movie at night, and ya, quite bored but those parts which scary were really scary k? OH JIA JUE!! we watched until 11 something then marissa decided to play harry potter board games, just almost same as cluedo... we played until 12 midnight, zhen suddenly put her hand on my shoulder and said "happy birthday vian".. haha.. that moment I was like "ey? yahor? 12 ad oh, my birthday oh..".. LOL..

this morning, wait sean and jue's mom come back home, then we went out to celebrate my birthday at midvalley.. we met sonia at MPH first then we have our lunch at chilis... Zhen and I shared a plate of fish & chips since we are not so hungry that time... after that me and zhen walked in to almost all shop which sell baby things, and we were actually so weird for those sales.. TWO TEENS GO AND LOOK FOR THOSE BABY STUFF.. haha.. and this is what I want at first.. muahaha... at 2.40 pm, we all waited alicia to come and watch new moon.. haha.. the movie is nice and I recommend you all go to watch it.. =) after the movie end, we walked around and went back home.. but sean's car suddenly can't move and marissa's dad fetched us back to jue's house.. I waited for my dad and go back home.. =)

lastly,
happy birthday to myself and...

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAD WISH ME THROUGH FACEBOOK, SMS, AND CALLED ME!! ^.^

streamyx..

2009-11-22T23:32:00.003+08:00

haha.. today... or should I say "yesterday" *now is 12.11 A.M*
okay, yesterday I went to digital mall to brought a cpu because the old one mouse cable spoilt ad which is long long time ago.... until today the person wanna install the internet then my dad only planned to buy a new cpu.. haha..

now using streamyx, make me think bout the advertisement, "potong".. lolz.. can consider as so heat now the advert.. always potong here and there de, jue and zhen also always sing that malay "potong wayar song" if you got watch the advert in the tv.. haha. after install the internet, install this and that, download this and that, so troublesome.. and somemore i didn't save all those old documents from the old cpu, all my useful documents still inside there... and my sis said find one day when i free, go plug all those cable to the old cpu and save it all in my pendrive.. OMG!! i so stupid la just now, don't save 1st.. grrr....

k la, now i think i will update my bloggie more often ad.. hehe.. ^.^

get away!

2009-09-29T16:11:00.006+08:00

hi everyone!! wow, I abandoned my blog for... hmm.... 1 month... LOL.. haih.... really "busy" now, busy to study...
this time year end exam really make me so stress... I keep put on pressure to myself but it become more worst... everyday study study and study, the pressure become bigger and bigger, end up nothing can get into my brain...
today sejarah paper 1 and paper 2... I don't know how my results is, because I don't know what was I doing just now when facing the paper... I just put everything I have studied to the paper, although I don't know what the questions ask bout, I just write something there but I know is wrong la... >.<"

tomorrow is economy paper 2 and science paper 2.... if I don't study econ maybe will get a 40 something, so I must study.. If I don't study science then this time I can't get A1 for my science, so I must study too... but now my situation is I hard to understand and memorize those info, how can I study both together in within 24 hours?

pressure ah pressure, stress ah stress, please get away from me.... I need to study now...

I need to overcome the feeling of stress and pressure........

anytime you want...

2009-08-06T20:20:00.003+08:00

xue ying didn't come to school today, make me moody the whole day... grrr...
after school waiting to take video for....... haha... is P & C....

I finally think out what I should do for my campaign, and I hope it won't take alot of time to do it, but I will still rush it by today without... sleep?? haha, perhaps...
tomorrow I will give out my campaign, so wait for it.. ^.^

okay, just a short update, gonna go to continue my campaign.. =)

*you can call me anytime you want by today night, cuz I won't be sleeping... ^.^*

campaign

2009-08-04T18:33:00.008+08:00

last Friday UKH general meeting held at bengkel, and I am the Ketua ERT, hehe... that means I own the 3 rooms-bilik jahitan, bilik masakan and pengurusan diri.. wakaka....
btw, saturday activity as usual... outdoor cooking, haha.. and I'm successfull to make the "baked apples".. Many of them said not bad, and yea, is not bad and quite nice also... the 1st time I tried to make this which I didn't tried it at home or anywhere before, haha... next time I wanna try "baked banana" or "chocolate banana", hehe =)

this saturday is annual general meeting for girl guides... *nervous*... and I gonna make a campaign for everyone, this is the big challenge for me cuz I don't know what should I make and must be meaningful... >.<
so.... pray for me, hope I can do something meaningful and nice...
or.. you have any ideas?

headed to do my homeworks... ciaooooo.... ^.^

"cycling" story.....

2009-07-30T18:25:00.004+08:00

lolz.. just now alicia come to my house and we together go to find some twigs for this saturday outdoor cooking... then we turn here and there to search for those twigs. Suddenly my key dropped from my bicycle's basket which I dunno how it drop from the little hole (whatever), then I turn back and pick up the key, then suddenly a sound "bang!", my mind told me that something wrong with alicia, so I quickly pick the key up and turn back to find alicia... and guess what??? I saw something very funny but actually is a "sad case" la.. hehe... I saw alicia get up from the floor and the bicycle was lie down on the floor, I think you all know what happen la... but the funniest thing is the "bang!" sound really like the bicycle bang to the car because she was fell down just behind the car... lolz..I keep laughing but she keep said that she only wanna turn back and suddenly lost the balance and fell down, but I really can't imagine that "bang!" sound is just she fell down simple like this.... LOL... :D I can't stop laughing when I think back that moment... after that she come to my house and wash her luka, and then we go to the field just opposite my house and we got 2 packets of twigs and those big "wood"... we put all those twigs in my house and headed to 7-11 to buy her ice-cream, but when we step inside the shop and facing those ice-cream, I told her my house got 2 box of ice-cream then she said wanna go my house to eat, =.="....
I took out the ice-cream and she sat on the sofa to enjoy the ice-cream, I told her not to finish the ice-cream, then you should know what happen after that... I helped her to open the gate and she went back home with her "luka".... I get inside to my house and I was soooooo Shock! She FINISHED my ice-cream, +@+-=*&$@##, I don't know what to say now, SPEECHLESS... she will know what happen TOMORROW!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......................

okay, gonna continue my mini gajet now, need to pass it by this saturday, hope I can finish all, and for sure those mini gajet will be so cute after complete.. ^.^

update......

2009-07-27T15:43:00.007+08:00

finally I update my blog? haha.. yea...

last saturday, sat activity as usual... I help out with those who taked their proficiency badges test on that day, and waiting for i.n.t.e.r.v.i.e.w... at 1st I was really so nervous, until my turn and I goes in and sit down... they have asked a few questions but my mind was totally blank, so I can't answer some questions that they asked and they asked me go out and think properly only go in for 2nd time... I think and think and think, I clear up my mind, and take a deep breath, and finally my turn to go in again... this time, I can answer their questions.. around half hour, the interview was end... me and alicia went to mid valley after that to meet win yen, marissa, yu song and daniel (I'm not sure bout his name).... they went to redbox and I went to cinema to watch movie... at 1st I wanna watch Harry Potter but the show time is too late so I changed my mind to watched "land of the Lost"... hmm.... is okay of the front part of movie but end up the whole cinema full of laughing sound.... LOL... still remember the monkey-->> "chaka"...

after that we went back to school together and I found that wei liang and kai xiang came too... me and alicia quickly changed our shirt and met them in the hall... the band concert was nice and we have tried to closed our eyes and listened to the music, I can tell you that is really difference from you use your eyes to watch and listen... I love the thailand trumpeter, he was awesome.. and that makes me think back those momories in primary school... I Miss My Trumpet!! =)
around 11, my dad came and fetch us back...

the show is nice but the bad thing is you does'nt come on that day.........

2009-05-12T22:34:00.002+08:00

sorry if I ignored you all in this few days...

p/s: ignore me for my emo-ness....

camp soon

2009-04-30T20:23:00.004+08:00

nothing to update.... actually.....
haha.... so lazy to update anything about today, so just a short post....

today was pn kok's retirement, so I leave the class at 9.30a.m and change my cloth.... bla bla bla.......
finally we stand at our own position and wait.. wait.... wait..... said 5 more mins but already 10++ mins........... FINALLY!! START!! at 1st they just passed by and we just hormat and we just hope the perbarisan can faster over, suddenly...... we saw a funny scence, a girl from lion dance group de, drop the stick when she hit the "gong", and her reaction wass sooooo funny.... I try not to laugh cuz we still in barisan, then I saw shu ling wanna laugh already so I also can't tahan, and laugh, but I look at the floor when I laugh, to not let them from lion dance de saw I'm laughing.... but end up, almost the whole girl guides were laugh because of "don't know what" reason... lolz...

tmr gonna go to COH Camp a.k.a COH training.. whatever...
sure so tired after 3 days 2 night.... >.<
pray for not to be moreee darker... =(

*gonna back on sunday, but still can contact me during the camp because I am bringing the phone along... chiaos... *

comp spoilt

2009-04-20T17:10:00.000+08:00

my desktop has spoilt last weeks, so i cant use comp for the few days ago, today i just borrow my sis's comp to use for while, to update my dear bloggy, then i gonna go ad.. pity huh? yea...
so.. wait for my another post on next week ba.. hehe..
tata... ^.^

one year...

2009-03-31T23:28:00.001+08:00

one year.....

already one year.....

camp at Inti College!

2009-03-15T22:14:00.004+08:00

just came back from LKT camp today...
it was so fun and memorable... I love those activities and games that they organized, those food were quite okay but just too much.... >.<
the 2 night at Inti were quite tired, but we did enjoyed it and the second day night we all went down to the canteen and have our "supper" at there, and chit chat, quite happy.... at first I wanna go out with my group's facilitator and group members to mamak stall which is located outside the university, but I just stay at canteen and chit chat with alicia, sze ning and hwei hng... **quite regret that I didn't went out with them at the last night in Inti...**
the most impossible stuff was 3 person slept on a single bed for 2 days... cool....
the most memorable memories in Inti is I knew many people from our school that we don't even know each other at school..
the most important thing is I LOVE MY GROUP! SPIRIT ROXX!!
we will still remember our group cheer "S.P.I.R.I.T! spirit! all, what we have! urhh..... we got the spirit!!"
although we don't get the first place for overall, but we got second place for the presentation.. we really did well in the presentation, we all have tried our best and did our job well..... and we got 4th place for overall but before the day we were the last one, so we are rox!
and we should be grateful that we have been in this group because we have the team spirits and we have a good facilitator/group leader in our group.. the three days he always accompany us instead of just stand aside and don't care bout our group... and made a big bottle of "honey" to us after the presentation, so... what we need to blame again? haha....
the environment of the university is so good and quite big too....
the three days, we really felt like we are Inti-ians...
really miss the time in Inti, those facilitators, and those activities.... so fun and happy.... =)

I will get those photos captured in these three days from my friends and update it soon....
stay tuned.....
^.^

Love Inti University College!

proposal

2009-02-27T01:09:00.005+08:00

errrr.....
paperworks paperworks and paperworks.... homeworks homeworks and homeworks.....
I'm gonna fall down....
this few weeks keep rushing for those proposal, but at least now we have finished our Junior Camp' proposal and hope nothing will be change again... and this one will be the complete and perfect one... or.. maybe still have something need to change but wait for teacher's opinion 1st....
Tired in this few weeks or whole month, and keep rushing and meeting for the Junior camp... Although I don't know this will be the good proposal for all, but at least for us who had give support and willing to sacrifice their times, this is already enough to see the final proposal came out....
so...
waiting for the meeting.....
and looking for the results....

answer my call la....

2009-02-22T22:30:00.003+08:00

why nobody answer my call???
at this time, they all should at home right? but no one answer my call...
wt......
'hate it la....
I duwan to be fitnah again...
I need to pass it up IMMEDIATELY...
stupid book lost at this time....
damn it....
=(

update soon......

2009-02-22T20:54:00.005+08:00

hey peeps...
just came back from NGO camp.. is so tired and sleepy... =.=
so... lazy to update today....
but will update soon.... =)

and

Happy belated Birthday to Hwei H'ng!
be happy always k? ^.^
**sorry for late because I didn't use hp during camp and just came back home with tired-ness..**

and Happy Birthday to you also... ^.^
**you know who you are**

you don't deserve it...

2009-02-19T16:34:00.004+08:00

just felt so bored in the school now...
disappoint to some of the teachers...
and you...
** *** *** *****
you don't deserve it to be a teacher....

moodless

2009-02-18T21:05:00.003+08:00

today is a moody day...
mood less for the whole day...........
=(

sigh

2009-02-07T21:47:00.007+08:00

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg........
my EYE!! yea, just one EYE...... was Hurt..... =(
you know how pain was it....
hmm.... the reason I just left to those who had came to activity today.... **shhhhhhhh.... don't tell it....
at 1st, when the *thingy* kena me, I was so so so pain, i meant my eye.... then my group members keep saying " nah, faster, the *thingy*! tht *thingy* is coming!"..... so I didn't care what, just get the *thingy* and finished the task... after that, I quickly sit beside hooi yin, and ask her how bout my eye?? I really so scared anything would happen to my eye.... they said go ask BSMM to get the "ais" and put it on to my eye..... but they cant find it, so I just go to wash my eye for safety..... after that felt better already, not so pain..
but is still pain if touch it... just now when I bath, i accidentally touch it (bath sure will touch the eye right), then I was thinking "ouch! so pain!", and is pain too when the water hit my eye *sigh sigh* but i still need to bath, so I just tahan and tahan..... =(
pity me, suddenly "毁容" ad.... and CANT, MUST NOT touch it!!
arghhh.... so bad luck la me, sick and my eye also kena...... haizz.....
I need to "转运" already.... lolz.....

miracle

2009-01-31T00:15:00.001+08:00

miracle??
hope it would happen...

OH JIA ZHEN!!!

2009-01-17T21:43:00.004+08:00

OH JIA ZHEN!!!
I'm sure you know why I write your name here.... =)
you arh.... my half U arh.....
really thx to you for made my half U "MORE" colourful..... lolz.....

my half U arhhhhh...... again and again..... no need to wear already lu....
=.=''

don't worry, be happy! =)

2009-01-11T18:24:00.006+08:00

few days ago, I got a best friend's grandma passed away... at first I don't know, until night, another friend told me that only I knew this shock news... before that, she almost everyday went to hospital to visit and take care of her grandma, until midnight only can back to home, after that morning still need go to school..... her grandma's sick more serious day by day, but her grandma and the whole family didn't give up and always stay strong....
until that day, she called her mom and she knew that her grandma cant tahan already, so she quickly went back home with tears and see her grandma........ but the god already decided to take her grandma leave, so.... her grandma passed away by that day and her family beside to accompany her to the last mins......
she didn't go to school for 2 days and activity also didn't attend because still got something to do...
just now read her blog, I knew that she felt so down and so sad cuz her grandma not beside her to accompany her to do this and do that again.... she always told among her friends that her grandma so good, always teached her this and that, and we always got to her house, we can knew that how her grandma and how they love and take care of each others....
what can I and we do for now is, let her calm, and take care of her.... and support her too....
as what he said, someday we will passed away too, we won't like our family to sad so long, so... must be strong and just pray the god to treat her good and hope she can bless all of us.....

lastly,
assa aka sa po 3, you always smile and laugh, and always make fun with us, teach us to be strong when we faced some problems.... I know you sure can get over it and be tough..... we will always be here whenever you need us!
cause.....
you are.....
ASSA!!
still remember this logo-->> =) ** your famous sign...**
don't worry, be happy! ^.^

listen or appeal?

2009-01-04T21:53:00.004+08:00

haizz... today morning when we having our breakfast, suddenly my mum and my aunt talk bout the class I in this year... then I think this is the time to tell my mum, so I told her I wanna appeal to science class.... then guess what my mum said?? same as what I told alicia yesterday...
"har? appeal? appeal for what?? nothing to do arh?? cannot appeal! some more you sure cant cope up de..."
my aunt also said "yealor, you think you can cope up? your pmr results already not so good, some more study science stream, so stress de..."
my aunt who is the person that always think rasional and 讲道理的人, she also said this, then what can I do??
after that, the whole day i think, 我真的没有能力可以读理科吗? 我真的会跟不上吗? 难道我真的该听大人们的话??
now I also cant make my mind clear that should I appeal? or listen to my mum?

appeal or not??

2009-01-03T22:06:00.007+08:00

today we knew that what classes are we in for form 4....
marissa and alicia same class, me 4P2, same class with xue ying and pei jia, jue and zhen are in 4P4....
actually I also expected already that I won't be in science stream, than now I really in P class...
after back home, I just tell my mum that I'm in P class and my mum said P class good, no need so pressure cause she said I cant catch up science classes syllabus..... so...... I didn't tell her I wanna appeal to science class.. and seems like her mood not so good today so I don't decide to tell her today but maybe school reopen...
If i appeal my mum sure bantah de....
But if I really can appeal and success, I will do all all all all my best, put all all all all all my effort in it.... I promise, I swear..... I think wisely already and I know SPM not play play, so I really will do it....
but my family all sure bantah, haizz.....
so..... should I appeal??

yesterday quite F (fun&faint)

2008-12-24T14:27:00.004+08:00

yesterday went to times square with sasa, alicia and hui teng....
we have our lunch 1st (or maybe is breakfast?), then only we start to play!
marissa don't want to play some games, so only me, alicia and hui teng played it..
wow.... after all, we finished at 6 something then I called dear come to fetch us....
after I reach home, I ask my dad quickly take us go out to eat something or else I will faint.. (SERIOUS!!!)
finally............. I felt better then get into bed...
quite fun but faint too.... lolz....

** I swear I WON'T play the "DNA MIXER" next time!!**

PMR results

2008-12-22T23:05:00.005+08:00

O.o
just now I receive a website from my friend and I go to search for the website...
guess wat??
PMR results come out at 30th of december!!
haha....

22th december 2008

2008-12-22T21:49:00.004+08:00

today back to school again.... of course because of guides, okay....
actually I went to school just to accompany marissa and alicia also... me and alicia "borrow" the bicycle from some where then we just ride it... hmph! rupanya the bicycle all got problem one.. but still got 2 bicycle that can "forced" to ride... after that I called dear to fetch us go to HQ cause we all don't want to use LRT, taxi, and bus... :P but unfortunately, HQ DIDN'T OPEN!!! then dear suggest go to wilayah HQ but we guess there have no the stuff that we wanna buy..... so we back to school... haizz.... 1 hour later (actually is 1 hour more more more), then we go back home... me and alicia go find the "grass skin" for our khidmat, then we went to have his dinner at mcdonald... around 6 then we back to home and REST!!!
hehe... tomorrow gonna go out with marissa them to times square and HAVE FUN!!! ^.^

p/s: today I really so blur until forgot tomorrow gonna go out with them and party at marissa's house.... and I REALLY don't know 26th go to ZI KANG's house.... OMG!! not short term memory lost ad, is LONG term memory lost.... lolz....

photos!

2008-12-21T00:50:00.008+08:00

hehe... sorry for late upload my photos...

pictures here!!

I choosing food from menu..... too many choices.. lolz...

no face to see you...

my meal!

actually I watching my watch la dear....

hehe... I'm playing with the lemon...

these are all the photos took by dear that day.... still got few but lazy to upload... hehe... thx dear for fetching me here and there that day... ^.^

JIA YOU!

2008-12-21T00:23:00.002+08:00

hehe....
today the whole watched DVD....
didn't think too much....
so happy.. ^.^
JIA YOU!

Near

分。和

2011. 2012

Maybe. Some times.

Wish That

Family

Life

那些

Weakness

"Get It Right"

Happy 18th Birthday Sasa! =DD

expectations = disappointments?

Disappointed

Peaceful Night

Family

Rest in Peace

Hurts

我能！

why?

Idiot

败

Sick. =X

click it! =)

=D

Support you! =)

I am tired

随你。。

=D

"ah-li-lu-ya"

big mistake!

I'm just so boring now...

migraine+panadol= rest

sigh..

6K Gathering

nights..

my birthday..

streamyx..

get away!

anytime you want...

campaign

"cycling" story.....

update......

camp soon

comp spoilt

one year...

camp at Inti College!

proposal

answer my call la....

update soon......

you don't deserve it...

moodless

*sigh*

miracle

OH JIA ZHEN!!!

don't worry, be happy! =)

listen or appeal?

appeal or not??

yesterday quite F (fun&faint)

PMR results

22th december 2008

photos!

JIA YOU!

sigh